home made cheese cake by me!

my breakfast for today. :)

hmm, i've mentioned that i can't accept what the guy did to me in the previous post. but now, i found that i'm already okay with it. i don't curse, don't angry and don't view his profile anymore. i think i should have to feel lucky that i got the chance to know his personality, and have the chance to leave him. maybe i'm growing, getting mature. now, i'm not going to think about relationship in these 2 years. i have to put more effort and aim for my spm which the result will affect my future. many people asked me, what's your ambition? what you want to be next time? i told them, i have no idea what i want to be, but all i want to do now is to get good result, and live happily with family and friends. NO LOVE! :) i met my first ex boyfriend a few days ago, he came to me, talked to me, and we laughed out loud happily. i could feel that my feeling to him is just a very good friend that we have not met for a long time. i still remember how we loved each other much, how we tried hard to protect our love, and how i felt hurt and unhappy after we've broken up. i recalled everything and compared with my life right now. i feel so free because we're friend now. no pressure, no need to quarrel, no jealousy and have a lot of smiles. sometimes he will help me on my studies when i have any confuse or can't catch up. i feel so happy that i have him as my ex. i don't regret, because we accepted each other and spent quite a long time with each other. although we've broken up, we're still good friend. he isn't my BEST friend, but he knows me much, and as a friend, he can forgive my bad habits.

for my 2nd ex, the time i was with him is just around 5 months. he is totally different type with my 1st ex. and now i recalled, i can't believe that i would go with him. it's like a surprise, a gift. we seldom met, but we would hang up sometimes. and everytime i went out with him, i enjoyed. except the night that we broke up. i thought i would be fine after we broke up because when we were together, he seldom with me too. but, i've overestimated myself. i've cried for a few times, and i missed him badly. i know, he won't be happy if he stays with me, so i chose to let him go. now, he has a new girlfriend, and when i just knew that. i was so angry and upset. i kept on scolding, and cursing. but a week later, i found that i've let go. because there's a phrase in chinese, "if the thing is not belong to you, let it go". i wish them happiness. :) he chooses her, may be she is better than me. and it means, i have to put more effort on my studies not on love.

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