urgh!

i woke up at 5am this morning!

why did i wake up so ealy?!

i had to prepare to go to clean and visit my grandfather's grave since the qingming festival is just around the corner..

this morning, we gathered at my grandma's house..

everyone was still with a sleepy face because it was still very early..

then we started to go to the market to buy some kuih and also my breakfast!

i was hyper hungry this morning because i didn't have my supper last night..

okay, then actually my dad and aunts just wanted to buy 2 sets of kuih..

1 set is for my grandpa and another 1 is for my grandpa's mom..

but then, i took my money out for my dad, and said, daddy, help me to buy another set..

why did i do so?

because every year i went there..

the grave beside my grandpa's mom's grave, there's an uncle "lives" there..

and he has no family..

every year, my uncles and aunts just burn some "money" for him..

his grave is always so empty and lets me feel so pity..

every time me and my aunts, uncles and cousins will make there be very crowded..

talk, laugh, joke..

and there will be very noisy..

since 2009 i went there, i asked my mom.. mummy, why we always just gathered at my grandpa's mom's grave but not the uncle there?why can't we share some happiness with him? and she said, girl, he had no family, no one will visit him.. so we just burn some "money" for him then i asked my mom, can i buy some food for him next year? because my grandma didn't prepare food for the uncle.. just bring tea and junk food for him.. and my mom said, why not?

last time when i was still very young, i couldn't do anything for the uncle..

but now, i have my own pocket money and i can buy some food for the uncle..

start from last year, i would buy some kuih for him everytime i go there..

i don't know will he receive those food i bought for him o not..

but because of i could feel the loneliness so i decided to bring him some food every qingming..

he has neither wife, children nor friends..

i don't know what person he was, how he looked like..

but why can't i treat him as my grandpa or my ancestor?

everyone needs cares and loves..

yea, he had been alone for his whole life..

then why can't i let him feel loved after he had passed away?

let him feels that there's someone still cares of him even i dono where he is now..

don't you think that's a good idea too?

=)

okay, drop that..

seriously, i'm tired to feel loved like this..

we usually adore the ones who ignore us and ignore the ones who adore us..

he is always the priority for me, but me?

i also dono what i mean for him..

herm, feel so disheartened to think about that..

like my ex colleague told me..

when a guy wants to get your heart, he will do anything for you..

you will be his first for everything..

once he gets you, he will not put you at the top in his daily to-do list anymore..

however, there are guys that are really treat you good..

he knows you just treat him as friend, he is still willing to do everything for you..

send a good morning to you once he wakes eventhough he knows you will not reply..

share your happy things which are happen between you with another guy,

share your tears which drop for another guy..

usually the ones who treat us good, we wont appreciate and keep on loking for a better one..

once we lose them, we will regret that, why will we do those to them before..

this is what we called "LOVE"

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